Catastrophic Brain Bleed

So It has been 3 weeks since my dad passed away. Suddenly. Unexpected. Yes he had Alzheimer's, but it was at the stage of asking the same question 2-3 times. Maybe he was unable to focus on TV shows like he used to. Anyways, bottom line, he was healthy. My mom found him making loud …

Thank God he survived his cancer…

I was watching a movie with my kids. Middle School. It is a comedy. We laughed until we realized the main character lost his brother to cancer. I started crying because it described the bond that 2 brothers had... best friends... I guess a sister bond is as strong as a brother bond. The movie …

When will this stop

I have become so stressed and anxious it is ridiculous. I panic for everything, I jump to worst case scenarios for EVERYTHING! I've become insane. My son looks tired....I have such a bad feeling that this fucking tumour is back. He looks a little off. I can't explain it. I can feel it. Am I …

This is forever?

That constant feeling in your gut. That constant panic. That feeling that the sky is  falling.... Is this a forever feeling? My son did his scans a few weeks ago  and now we are going for the results... 3 weeks later...no stress. It's like I've been holding my breathe forever. I just want to breathe. …

A What?!

The worst news you can hear

It’s been a downward spiral….

Exhausted....

I just can’t stop thinking about 4 years ago…

My car lease is up. I'm shopping for a new car. Not sure what I am looking for. I'm just shopping. All I think about is when I was making my decision 4 years ago with my husband we were at your house. Comparing prices. Asking advice. Calling dealerships. Sometimes when I step back I …

A Year Ago Today

Seems like years ago

Nice

Someone said this about you and I thought how accurate... A best friend from the past. Someone I only heard good things about. Someone who only had good things to say about you.   "...the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, …

I felt like my heart would explode

I sat there at the parent-teacher meeting talking to concerened parents. Looking to my right and not seeing you. Unable to give you a glance and where you would know exactly what I was thinking. Eavesdropping on your parent-teacher meetings and making comments after. I sat there. No parents to keep me busy. I felt …